I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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