he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She even gives head with a lisp.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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