Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
