he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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