Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
