I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
