I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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