think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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