You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
