Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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