What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
