I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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