Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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