I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
