I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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