I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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