dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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