I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
