your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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