When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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