Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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