Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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