I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Randomize
