Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
