dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize
