Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Houston, we have a blender
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
