Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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