So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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