Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize