He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Randomize
