Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Hippo gnu deer
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
