you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
