There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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