Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize