Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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