I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
