i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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