You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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