I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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