his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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