I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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