Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
