He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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