yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
