Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
