i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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