Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize