I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
