i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
