I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
