all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
