He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
