i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
