Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
