i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
