real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
