GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize