every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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