I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
